[TRANSCRIPT]
An invitation to participate is a sign that a digital space isn’t filled with attacks or one-sided conversations, but is dedicated to engaging with many different perspectives and experiences.
Hi everyone. Welcome to Digital Hope Talk. I’m Lauren Hug and I thank you for listening and being willing to explore better ways of navigating our digital world together.
This is Episode 14: You’re Invited! Asking people to participate in digital spaces.
In Digital Hope Talk Episode 7: Hospitality in a Digital World, I explored the creation and cultivation of inclusive and safe online spaces in the spirit of Fannie Mae Duncan’s “Everybody Welcome” Cotton Club, which welcomed people of all races and walks of life in a time and place where such spaces were rare.
Intentionally inclusive online spaces transform off-putting and abandoned digital places into vibrant communities where people of different backgrounds and perspectives mix and mingle: first, for a designated purpose, and later, because of the discovery of additional connections and commonalities.
Some people find these spaces on their own and jump right in, but many will need an invitation. They’ll need to be made aware that the spaces exist and that they are welcome within them. It’s “an opportunity to reach out to those who are on the margins of your community and to relate to others in a more empathetic manner,” writes collaboration strategist Samantha Slade on “the art of invitation” in Enlivening Edge Magazine.
From the outside looking in to online groups or conversations, it may not always be obvious who is welcome. Certain words, phrases, images, and topics can be unintentionally alienating. Rules regarding conduct may be misinterpreted as rules prohibiting perspectives. And there are many digital spaces where diversity of thought is not wanted.
An invitation, however, makes it clear that a person is welcome. It’s a sign that this space isn’t filled with attacks or one-sided conversations, but rather is dedicated to engaging with many different perspectives and experiences.
Invitations validate people, letting them know they matter more than any particular view they may hold. “If someone is earnestly trying to be in conversation and community with us,” says Melody Stanford Martin in Brave Talk: Building Resilient Relationships in the Face of Conflict, “it’s vital to remember that the person is more important than their ideas.” Extending a personal welcome creates camaraderie and diffuses us-versus-them thinking, which, according to Martin, “create[s] a space where people can begin to build trust and share with each other openly, without threat.”
General invitations broadly addressed to anyone on our social networks serve as signals that we are open to discourse. Hey everybody, I’d love for you to join this group about XYZ or What are your thoughts about this article? They are more likely to be received by people who believe they are on the same page as us or occupy a middle ground.
To welcome people from very different perspectives or those we are fairly certain disagree with us, a personal invitation will be far more effective.
Sample Script: We seem to have different opinions about this issue. I want to hear your thoughts. You matter to me, and I want you to feel welcome in my social media spaces. Please feel free to comment on my posts.
The more distance there appears to be between us and someone we’d like to welcome into community, the more direct and personal the invitation needs to be. Otherwise, the outrage that animates us-versus-them social media discourse will lead the invitation to be dismissed as not being for them.
And don’t be surprised if an invitation isn’t accepted right away. This world is noisy and it is currently uncommon to extend invitations in digital spaces to those on the “outside” of our thought circles. An invitation may need to be extended several times before people believe it is sincere. “Even if someone says no,” writes Slade, “they can still feel part of whatever it is they were being invited into. An invitee can feel pleasantly surprised and delighted that people had thought of them and that their involvement was desired.”
Digital grace also extends invitations to people who have been ostracized and “canceled.” “There is grace in the courage … to step forward with a warm welcome for someone who has been shunned,” says Sarah L. Kaufman in The Art of Grace. She references a scene in Gone with the Wind when the seemingly meek Melanie ignores gossip and graciously embraces the scandalous Scarlett, despite the disapproval of many in her community. By welcoming Scarlett, Melanie isn’t letting her get away with being a terrible person, she’s refusing to define Scarlett by her worst deeds. She understands the healing effect of hospitality.
The Cotton Club’s “Everybody Welcome” sign served as a public announcement that the club was open to all. In the absence of a clear invitation, many would have assumed the space was only for certain types of people.
Transform digital spaces into communities by extending invitations, reaching out and asking people to join the gathering. “No need to get it perfect, just walk the path,” encourages Slade. “Dare to invite when you see possibility or need…. Invite more than you would usually, and see what happens.”
You’re invited to discuss this further by clicking the comment button on the transcript …
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