Hospitality in a Digital World
Creating Comfortable, Inclusive Online Spaces
In 1948, in my hometown of Colorado Springs, Fannie Mae Duncan, a Black, female entrepreneur created a space to bring people together in appreciation of arts and culture (specifically jazz) during an era of racial segregation and heightened civil unrest. She named it Cotton Club in homage to the original club in Harlem that featured some of the most well-known Black entertainers of the 1920’s and 30’s. Unlike the original, however, Duncan’s club wasn’t “whites only”.
“Everybody Welcome” declared a sign in the club’s front window. It was Duncan’s business slogan and the way she lived her life. She didn’t see herself as a civil rights activist, but she convened people of all races and cultures in a space she created, curated, and staffed.
Welcoming, inclusive spaces like Duncan’s Cotton Club don’t “just happen.” They require thought, investment, and ongoing maintenance.
Think for a minute about a time you felt truly welcomed and comfortable in a space. What made you feel that way? Was it a warm smile and enthusiastic greeting from the host? Personalized introductions to the other people present? Beautiful surroundings? An invitation to make yourself at home? Clear instructions about what to expect and how to participate?
Comfortable, inclusive digital spaces benefit from a stated purpose. The purpose can be anything, really, but there has to be some shared affinity that overrides whatever separates people and, instead, gives them a reason to come together. In the case of the Cotton Club it was appreciation of world-class entertainment. That shared purposed overrode racial segregation, providing a common ground that allowed people to get to know each other and establish relationships beyond the initial uniting purpose.
Good community members invest in making public spaces accessible and enjoyable. In the online world, this means making it easy for people to participate and contribute while removing unwanted content, resolving conflicts, and preventing bullying and abuse. Gentle reminders about the purpose of the space as well as the guidelines and rules for participating help people know what is expected of them and of others. Enforcement of the guidelines and rules is necessary to ensure the space remains comfortable.
Everybody was welcome at Duncan’s Cotton Club, but not all behaviors were welcome. Duncan wouldn’t admit anyone who made trouble or had too much to drink. She hired her own security to make sure her rules were followed. These rules and their enforcement made the Cotton Club a safe space for all people during an otherwise tumultuous time.
To launch an inclusive space, pick something you love and enjoy connecting with others about. Establish the space by talking about the topic on your own social media accounts (preferably using hashtags so people can find and join the conversation), creating a group on an existing social network, or convening interested people through other means like a blog, newsletter, forum, Discord channel, or any other way digital technology supports connection, collaboration, and relationship.
If creating and maintaining public digital spaces isn’t your thing (and, after managing several, I completely understand – they’re a lot of work!), you can focus on making your own social media accounts inclusive, welcoming places.
We generally don’t allow people to harass, bully, threaten, intimidate, or yell at others under our roof. The same goes for our homes on the web. We can make clear our expectations for engagement on our walls and newsfeeds. When sharing something, we can add guidelines and context for appropriate interactions. Here are a few examples:
This post is meant for those who have lost a loved one to cancer. Please respect that purpose.
I know this is a controversial topic for many. Please keep your comments respectful. I’ll delete any that aren’t.
I’m talking to my fellow single parents here. I’d love to hear other perspectives, but that’s the experience and perspective I’m coming from with this post.
Good hosts make guests feel comfortable. “I find it is the folks who are humble, unpretentious, and direct who are the most graceful,” says Sarah L. Kaufman in The Art of Grace. “They are the ones who open up a kind of ease with people, who don’t put up barriers.”
We can put people at ease online by thanking them for their presence and letting them know they are seen and their digital contributions are appreciated. Barriers to digital dialogue can be broken down by thoughtful facilitation, in much the same way a good host ensures the flow of inclusive dinner conversation. Drawing out and highlighting those who are more reluctant to speak up, while softening those who are too aggressive or make the space feel less safe. Validating the courage and vulnerability it takes to share experiences. When necessary, asking anyone being belligerent or disrespectful of others to leave the conversation. (As a last resort, using social media tools to mute or block them.)
Caretaking of digital spaces goes a long way toward creating an online environment we want to frequent. What are some ways you create welcoming, inclusive spaces online?
Also from Lauren M. Hug — Digital Kindness: Being Human in a Hyper-Connected World and Digital Grace: Embracing Benevolence in an Outraged World.
For me it’s making sure people feel heard. Acknowledging their comment or question and then providing some sort of solution or next step. Or just simply saying “we hear you.”