One of the most common questions I get asked by small biz owners during social media seminars is how to respond to unfair reviews. I used to advise owners to respond neutrally (ie, “We appreciate your feedback”). I’ve since come to understand how unhelpful and unspecific that advice is. It comes from the same one-size-fits-all idea of “professionalism” that includes not showing tattoos, not wearing one’s own natural hair, and not observing healthy boundaries in workplaces.
It comes from a business philosophy that demands everyone follow some “norm,” regardless of whether that “norm” is authentic behavior for them. It flattens diversity and personality, erasing the individual and cultural differences that make human beings so interesting.
For years I’ve coached public speakers to lean into their own uniqueness by learning the “rules” of public speaking, then ignoring whichever ones distort their voice and obscure their lived experiences. But I hadn’t been giving business owners the same advice about responses to online reviews.
The increase in appalling digital behavior, unreasonable expectations of customers, bullying of small business owners and their teams both in-person and online, and the disproportionate impact angry/unfair “reviews” can have on businesses led me to revise my advice.
I now recommend that businesses use unfair reviews as an opportunity to educate the public about the challenges of running their business. And, in doing so, showcase their heart, passion, and purpose.
Digital media expands our world. When we share our authentic selves online, like-minded people are drawn to us. Things that turn some people off are exactly what make others our biggest, most devoted, and vocal fans.
Social media responses to a recent article about a restaurant owner hitting back at negative online reviews provide excellent proof of this point. The owner uses a combination of snark, factual refutation (reviewing security cam footage to see if complaints are merited), and occasional insults and expletives when replying to disgruntled reviewers.
Opinions on his approach fall into three general groups:
Unprofessional. I’ll never eat there. (Some even went so far as to leave negative reviews — despite never having eaten at the restaurant — about the way the owner chooses to respond to negative reviews.)
Love it! This guy is a hero! I’m going to eat there BECAUSE of the way he responds. (Some have already followed through on that promise and posted on social media to prove it.)
I’d never respond that way myself, but I support what he’s doing. (Some say this business owner is doing what most owners secretly want to do when responding to mean reviews.)
I’m in the third group. Given that I write about being kind and graceful online, I think some of his responses are on the mean side, but none of them are unprovoked. I take more issue with the people leaving the mean reviews — having no consideration for the ways their words impact a small business owner both economically and psychologically — than I do with this owner’s replies. (I wonder if I can convince him to start telling those mean reviewers that they need to read my books. 🤔😜)
Reading through comments on various social networks, my impression is that more people approve of his approach than disapprove. Some applaud his passionate defense of his food and his staff. Some find his responses hilarious and entertaining. And some are glad to see mean people being confronted.
His unique response style appears to be serving his business well rather than causing harm to it. That doesn’t mean other business owners should copy it, but it validates business owners finding an approach that aligns with their personality and values.
Any strategy a business owner employs regarding unfair negative reviews also has to take their mental bandwidth into account. Some owners are perfectly fine ignoring negative reviews or can quickly fire off responses they're satisfied with. Others lose hours worrying about negative comments and trying to craft the ideal response.
For me, hitting back would create even more mental anguish than the original negativity, so I stick to upbeat, informative responses.
Framing responses as an opportunity to communicate with everyone else who is interested in and supportive of a business rather than directly refuting ugliness can diffuse interactions. When reviews are too overwhelming or feel too personal, consider outsourcing replies or working with a strategist to devise a protocol for responding so that the process becomes routine.
If it helps, I can assure you (based on years of market research I’ve conducted) that the vast majority of people reading reviews see through the hyper negative ones. People trust reviews that are nuanced and detailed; ones that are neither all good, nor all bad. When it comes to glowing reviews, they trust ones that contain specifics about the reviewer’s preferences and experience.
With both reviews and replies, we are drawn to the ones that resonate with our way of navigating the world. Don’t shy away from being yourself online, but also consider kindness before sending content into cyberspace.
Our digital behavior impacts others. Every post is an opportunity to consider the kind of impact we want to have.
What do you think about business owners hitting back at negative online reviews?