Embracing our disco ball era

Light, truth, and communal energy in digital spaces

Hi Everyone! Long time, no see.

Apologies for that. After my last newsletter, I found myself struggling to model the optimism and positivity I want to pour into digital spaces. The future looked bleak, and, for a period of time, I felt frozen and helpless. I didn’t want to add to the fear and despair I was seeing on social media, so I stayed relatively quiet — failing to take my own advice about social media self-care and spending way too much time doom-scrolling rather than forging connections, building community, and sharing stories about hopeful ways forward together.

Things don’t look much better now. They actually look worse. A lot worse than I anticipated (and I’ve been worrying about the inability of American legal institutions to deal with narcissists and sociopaths for almost a decade).

So, why such a sparkly, happy, energetic photo with this post?

I finally realized my message of digital kindness is needed now more than ever. And kindness includes:

• sharing our knowledge and expertise

• talking about our lived experiences (when we want to and feel safe enough to do so)

• amplifying the voices of others

• connecting each other to all the people who want to co-create a better world together

• validating and lifting each other up to remind us to keep hoping and keep going because …

THERE ARE MORE OF US.

I received the comment above on one of my Threads posts about sharing examples of generosity, care, nurture, empathy, love, and interdependence in digital spaces.

It’s always encouraging to hear my books have helped people rethink their use of social media and empowered them to use it for good and to spread kindness. But the thing that stuck with me most from this comment — the thing I keep repeating to myself as I scan through a never ending stream of official acts of callousness and cruelty — is:

“There are more of us.”

I believe that, of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t write or speak about what I do.

I know there are so many more of us who want to grow a world where everyone thrives, than those who want to destroy it. I know that to change things together we need to keep finding each other, forging connections, telling stories of a world where our systems embody the care we have for each other, and taking action to birth it.

But seeing that belief reflected back to me by a “stranger on the internet” has been a powerful reminder of what I always say:

What we do in digital spaces matters.

What I do matters. What you do does too.

It changes what people know about the world, see as important, and believe to be possible.

Over the past year, I’ve become obsessed with disco balls. They make me happy. I love gazing at their multi-faceted surfaces, seeing how each square reflects light in a slightly different way. I especially love when direct light hits them and they flood the space with a million beams in every direction.

The first disco addition to my home decor was a small hanging planter. A larger ball that hangs in my front window soon followed. I couldn’t resist buying a vintage butterfly disco shirt from the late 70s / early 80s when I stumbled upon one at a local shop. Last autumn I added a disco ball pumpkin to my collection. During December, my daughter spotted a disco ball Santa hat that has now become my preferred holiday accessory.

Anytime I realize I’m being drawn to a certain symbol, I like to see what the internet has to say about what that symbol means. Here’s a round-up of different disco ball meanings I found:

• celebration, joy, and communal energy

• light, movement, and the magic of collective experience

• freedom and self-expression

• resilience and transformation

• different perspectives and experiences coming together to create something dazzling

Sounds a lot like how I see digital spaces and encourage people to show up in them!

So, in response to what feels like a lot of heaviness and darkness right now, I’m embracing my disco ball era. And I’m asking you to give it a try, too.

Think of each of your social media posts like a disco ball spinning in cyberspace. The tiny mirrored tiles are the people who see it, reflecting your content into their own spaces from their own angle and perspective, spreading it in countless directions, and lighting up places you could never reach on your own.

I know that sharing in digital spaces can sometimes feel overwhelming. Joyless. Exhausting. Like an obligation. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to chase algorithms or force yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit. Show up as yourself, in whatever ways feel right, on whatever platforms work for you, and let the people who already value you reflect your insights outward.

In this world of noise and mis/disinformation, the only sources people truly trust are the people they know, and, by extension, the people those people know and trust.

Your networks need your light in digital spaces.

We all need your light in digital spaces.

This is how we change things. Each of us sharing what we know and how we’re dreaming and working toward a future for all of us.

I’ll be here to help you do it, reminding you that it matters, and pep-talking you on those days when you think no one cares about what you have to say. Together we’ll tell a different story about what it means to be human in a digital world.

Thank you for being here. You give me hope. I’m honored to be connected with you in this digital space.

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Some resources for showing up in digital spaces on your own terms …

I’m not super comfortable with being self-promotional, but I’ve heard from enough of you to believe that my books are helpful for navigating social media in ways that are meaningful and healthy. There’s no rigidity or gimmicks in them — just a series of things to consider as you decide what’s right for you.

Books—Digital Kindness: Being Human in a Hyper-Connected World & Digital Grace: Pouring Benevolence into an Outraged World

Audio Book—Digital Kindness: Being Human in a Hyper-Connected World

Guided Journal—Digital Kindness Journal: A year of guided reflections for compassionate social media use

I’ve tried to price them accessibly, but please reach out to me if cost is an issue. I’ll find a way to get them to you. I mean it when I say your voice is needed in digital spaces.